Library Fines

We've all had that disagreeable experience. You meant to return that book, you truly did. But life happens, and here you are, book in hand and that smug so-and-so behind the library circulation desk is telling you that money is owed. I have been in both positions - both the individual with the late fees, pleading for mercy and the person behind the desk cringing as the amount due is revealed. Today I thought (being the generous individual I am) that I'd give you the benefit of my experience and write a little bit about how to deal with library fines.

1. Don't blame the person behind the desk
I understand, believe me. It's frustrating when you get a bill you weren't expecting. The person behind the desk may be disagreeable. Maybe it's the last straw to a truly rotten day. Whatever the reason, I urge you to resist snarling at this person. After all, this person was probably blithely mowing their lawn or watching a favorite TV show while the soulless computer was tallying up your library fines. Ultimately this is the person with the power to help you out and you want them on your side, so be civil even if you can't bring yourself to be nice.

2. Be honest about why the items are late (even if it's just 'I forgot') and ask for a break
As I've grown to adulthood, I have been amazed at what people can get simply by asking. This includes forgiveness for library fines. Much of the time, if you're upfront and ask for it, the person behind the desk will waive some or all of your fines. Sometimes, there are even policies or programs in place that can be used to make your fines go away (like Food for Fines). Whatever you do, don't make up a story. While amusing, these little works of fiction will not get results beyond a good chuckle in the library staff room (alien abduction or government confiscation of library materials are among my favorites).

3. Don't ask too often or for minuscule amounts
I once had a person come up to me and complain for over 20 minutes about a 10 cent library fine. By the end of the 20 minutes, both of us were out of temper and my attitude went from "how can I help you" to "you are paying that dratted library fine". Library workers are more than happy to help you out if you're in a fix, but if you are in a fix every single time you're in the library (or if your fix is incredibly minor) the helpfulness tends to diminish. If you tend to accumulate library fines (I'm pointing to myself furiously), pick your moment to appeal for mercy. Also, note that most libraries allow you to accumulate a certain amount (say, 10 dollars, but check with your library) before your use of the library is limited.

4. Don't demand ownership of an item if you've paid fines in excess of what it costs
I was truly surprised the first time this happened. A family brought a book from a popular children's series back quite late (I think the fines were 5 dollars). The book had a $3.99 price on it and once the fines were paid, the family asked for the book, since they felt they had paid for it. Fines are not based on the price of a library item. Fines are like parking tickets. You pay because you did something with your vehicle you weren't supposed to do. If you have fines, it's a fee because you didn't bring your item back, not payment for the item itself.

Even Charlie Brown has to pay fines

5. You've begged, pleaded and were MORE than nice, but the gargoyle at the front desk is still making you pay
There comes a point in every life where you must own up to your mistakes. I'm afraid, my friend, that this moment has come for you. There comes a point where you simply must pay your library fines. You may have done everything I recommend, but at the end of the day, you didn't bring your item back when it was due. If you talk to any library worker, you'll find that most (if not all) of us have had to pay library fines (and if that's not sad, I don't know what is - we WORK here for goodness sake). We empathize, believe me. So, take a deep breath and pay up.